i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize