My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
