I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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