IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
