Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
