I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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