All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
