Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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