I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize