Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
