oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
