we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
