I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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