I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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