She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
