i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
