you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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