I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
