He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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