Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
