the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
