someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
