So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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