Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
