Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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