I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
