she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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