You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My penis needs a shock collar
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
