Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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