Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
