Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
