sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
