I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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