And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
