They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
