Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
