Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize