i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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