How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....