I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
