Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
