Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt http://tfl.nu/gv5c
  Replies (12) Good night (2416) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks... http://tfl.nu/pt70
  Replies (8) Good night (1935) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams http://tfl.nu/9pxu
  Replies (4) Good night (2337) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!' http://tfl.nu/w3o8
  Replies (6) Good night (1943) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
  Replies (10) Good night (569) Bad night (1761)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/f6x3
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered. http://tfl.nu/u1qq
  Replies (20) Good night (2229) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed! http://tfl.nu/vwkc
  Replies (6) Good night (1656) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots. http://tfl.nu/uyhv
  Replies (9) Good night (818) Bad night (1880)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub
  Replies (7) Good night (1471) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future http://tfl.nu/4nas
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him http://tfl.nu/6x5z
  Replies (4) Good night (478) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants? http://tfl.nu/9yby
  Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/2igt
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (195)

Randomize