It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.