What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.