Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not

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  (817): I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not http://tfl.nu/w4u2
  Replies (57) Good night (1298) Bad night (4422)
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  (631): View more from New York

  It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

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  (631): It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom. http://tfl.nu/aix7
  Replies (48) Good night (6504) Bad night (1928)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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  (803): It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/hg6l
  Replies (37) Good night (9430) Bad night (1263)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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  (912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0
  Replies (4) Good night (4286) Bad night (819)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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  (917): I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy http://tfl.nu/okyl
  Replies (1) Good night (2531) Bad night (1169)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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  (978): Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season http://tfl.nu/bvhl
  Replies (4) Good night (2444) Bad night (725)
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  (650): View more from California

  Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human

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  (650): Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human http://tfl.nu/6fr0
  Replies (4) Good night (2714) Bad night (1323)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.

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  (908): Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay. http://tfl.nu/7deg
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (660)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?

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  (615): Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help? http://tfl.nu/mn7q
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (881)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"

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  (+44): The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work" http://tfl.nu/byzn
  Replies (8) Good night (1754) Bad night (743)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.

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  (847): Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite. http://tfl.nu/nf89
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (549)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights

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  (219): All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights http://tfl.nu/nkhu
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (384)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.

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  (405): I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot. http://tfl.nu/dd00
  Replies (2) Good night (744) Bad night (295)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just vodka nap now...

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  (706): When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between (267): I just vodka nap now... http://tfl.nu/97w6
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (361)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it

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  (724): Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it http://tfl.nu/jbin
  Replies (3) Good night (569) Bad night (299)

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