im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
