how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
