he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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