it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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