I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
