well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this will be a night to untag.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
