I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
