i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
