no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
