i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
