Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize