You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
