Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
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Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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