Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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