moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
