that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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