She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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